Think carefully before you spit into that test tube for Ancestry.com or any of the other genealogy sites. Dani Shapiro took it all lightly, but she was traumatized by the results. She writes of it inInheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love.
I’m not spoiling the story by writing about it. I’ve seen Shapiro on television talking about her book and the results of her DNA analysis. Dani’s husband, Michael, said he was going to take one of those DNA analysis tests. She agreed, and months later, they finally got around to spitting in the tube. Then, she forgot about it until the results came back. Dani’s father wasn’t her father. Her half-sister wasn’t related to her at all. All the Orthodox Jewish relatives she could name for five generations back were not her relatives. Dani Shapiro felt as if she had lost her identity.
Dani Shapiro is a writer, and her husband is a journalist. It didn’t take him long to find answers. From one sentence her mother once said, and a “first cousin” who showed up on Ancestry, Michael figured out the story, connecting Dani’s story with her biological father. The research and search are worth reading for yourself.
What I can mention is Dani Shapiro’s feelings of loss of identity. She had never been close to her mother, and identified with her father. She was proud of all his family and his heritage. Now, all of that was gone. Although, her ninety-three-year old aunt, when told of the discovery, was a strong woman who grabbed Dani and said, “I’m not giving you up.” But, her aunt Shirley never knew the family secret. Shapiro says, “All my life I had known there was a secret. What I hadn’t known: the secret was me.”
Dani Shapiro struggles with the truth, the ethics, and has a difficult time accepting the actions of her parents. But, rabbis, mentors, friends listen patiently as she struggles with the loss of her identity and her family history. Who is she now that she no longer is her father’s daughter? Who is she when she learns that when she’s fifty-four? I sometimes felt as if Shapiro was making too much of a fuss, and was acting too traumatized. Who am I to know? I’m not the one who found out I was not related to my father.
There are answers in Inheritance. There might not be answers for everyone who sends in their spit as a lark only to learn they’re not the person they thought they were. It’s a fascinating book with all kinds of questions, and few answers.
Dani Shapiro’s website is www.danishapiro.com
Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love by Dani Shapiro. Alfred A. Knopf, 2019. 249p.
*****
FTC Full Disclosure – The publisher sent a copy of the book, hoping I would review it.
Oh my goodness! How do you come back from something like that?
Without getting specific, I have a friend this happened to and it has hit her hard. What would drive me nuts is, there is no one left alive who knows the story, what happened, why it was kept secret all those years, etc.
No, I have no question I am who I have always thought I was – just look at pictures of me, my father, and his father at a similar age – but I have no interest or need to check ancestry.com.
I don't know how you come back, Deb.
And, that's what drove the author nuts, Jeff. She was just lucky that her biological father was still alive and agreed to meet with her.
I actually did the DNA test, but it's because we lose my paternal grandfather's line about 4 generations back, and I wondered what nationality it was. I knew I'd be okay. And, I have first cousins on both sides of the family who are listed as first cousins on the DNA of Ancestry.
My husband and I both had our DNA tested. I got so interested in this that I gifted kits to my children, grandchildren, and nephews.
There was a secret kept in my family but I was assured that my father was my biological father. I was relieved to verify with the test. My husband does not know his biological father and was raised by his single mother. What doe either of these scenarios matter? I grew up with a father I loved. Would it have made any difference if he were not my biological father? If we found out who my husband's biological father was now, would this make a difference in his life?
DNA is all the rage now. Many taking the test are just seeking questions of ethnicity. Some are seeking answers to parentage and family. Taking the test in all innocence, some, like Dani Shapiro receive some shocking news.
When Dani Shapiro finds out her father is not her biological father, she takes the bull by the horns and seeks answers to her parentage. Her process and journey is a very interesting and at time heart-wrenching story. Only she can answer what the results of her investigation mean to her. It's a compelling read and is creating a lot of discussion.
As you said, Carol, I was curious about ethnicity on my father's side. And, I don't know. Each person would react differently. I guess it just surprised me how traumatized Dani Shapiro was when she had a father she loved so much. I'm guessing more than anything, it had to do with her identification as an Orthodox Jew from a family with an extensive history.
I really have no patience with this or with the author's story. And this despite the fact that something similar happened to me. I was adopted at birth by a Jewish family. They had been told by the lawyer that they went through (my adoptive parents were both too old to adopt through regular adoption agencies) — the lawyer told them that my birth mother came from a Jewish family. This was somewhat important as birth heritage is traced through the mother's side in the Jewish religion. I eventually decided to search for my birth mother and discovered that neither she (nor my birth father) was of the Jewish faith. Both French Canadian Catholic/Christian all the way back.
You know what? DNA is not important — you belong to the people that love you and care for you and take the time to raise you and guide you through life. To focus on that other crap — while trendy — is just such a waste of time. You care about that stuff in a world where people are starving, being murdered, and raped and whatever in third world countries. Yeah, focus on DNA — what a Cadillac problem to have. Well, the author got a book out of it — good on her.
Sorry, but I really can't sympathize with this at all — and I think folks who do have too much time on their hands. Go out and solve some real problems please!
Marsha……DITTO, DITTO, DITTO‼️👍
Thank you, Marcia. It's interesting to hear from someone who experienced a similar situation. I found it a little frustrating, too, seeing how much she said her father loved her. Thank you for your comments. They were helpful.
The podcast, Just The Right Book, hosted by Roxanne Coady, Independent Book Store owner (R.J. Julia, Madison, CT) interviews Dani Shapiro. Ms. Shapiro adds insight to her book as she explores a bit deeper. Her ending words of the two segments of the interview are very telling.
https://www.bookpodcast.com/dani-shapiro-uncovers-cathartic-family-secret-in-latest-memoir/
Thank you, Carol.
Attention everyone, the file provided above is not working. I have been looking for the working file and finally found it.
✔️Click Here To Download http://gestyy.com/e0GAyS
✔️Click Here To Download
✔️Click Here To Download http://exe.io/XONVsO6l
✔️Click Here To Download
✔️Click Here To Download
✔️Full Version Software Download with Keygen Patch Crack
✔️Android Premium Games Unlimited Money Gems Latest
.
.
.
✔️Android Premium Games Unlimited Money Gems Latest
✔️Battle of Polytopia Unlimited Stars Mod APK Unlocked Free Full All Tribes Best Premium Sharp 2020
✔️Battle of Polytopia Unlimited Stars Mod APK Unlocked Free Full All Tribes Best Premium Sharp 2020 .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mn.
..
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.fd
.
.
.
.ddddddc
.
.
.
.
.sdcccxxx