I don’t think there’s an American woman who is satisfied with her physical appearance. Valerie Bertinelli’s memoir, Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today, is a testament to that. She stresses over the ten pounds she’s lost and gained for her entire life. It took her until she was sixty-one to wonder why those same ten pounds bothered her so much. What was the real problem in her life? And, my personal opinion? She might not have reached that awareness if she hadn’t watched her ex-husband and love of her life, Eddie Van Halen, struggle and finally succumb to cancer. Mortality makes some of us wonder what is wrong with us that we can’t accept life.

Valerie Bertinelli worked since she was twelve. From the time she was fifteen, she grew up on television, spending nine years on “One Day at a Time”. She married musician Eddie Van Halen just before her twenty-first birthday. She admits she always pretended to be the bubbly, upbeat, all-American girl everybody wanted to believe she was. In private, “I have rarely thought of myself as anything but a failure.” She failed to be as skinny as she wanted to be so much so that in her late forties she became a spokesperson for Jenny Craig. She never tried to get healthy or to deal with the reasons she gained weight over the years. Instead, she’d diet, lose weight, and, with Jenny Craig, insisted on losing enough weight to get into a bikini to pose in “People”. She admits she thinks of herself in a brooding, judgmental way.

In some ways, this is a sad book, but true for so many of us. She asks, “Why couldn’t I see all the good things about myself?” That’s the purpose of the book. Bertinelli evaluates her life, hoping to find joy. She found love and joy in her final relationship with Eddie Van Halen. She finds pure love with her son, Wolfie. She’s working on finding gratitude and love for herself and her own life.

Bertinelli says she wanted this to be a book people could pick up and put down. It is because it can be repetitive at times, and she almost uses a stream-of-consciousness style of writing, putting down what she’s thinking of at the time.

While I was interested in Bertinelli’s career and life, her obsession with her weight still permeates the book, although she’s trying to give up that obsession. It’s almost ironic that someone so obsessed with weight is involved with two cooking shows, and includes recipes in her memoir.

The book is a little too self-help for me. But, I hope Bertinelli succeeds in finding the joy in her life. She seems to be a caring, nurturing woman, and I hope she finds happiness. It really is Enough Already.

Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today by Valerie Bertinelli. Mariner Books, 2022. ISBN 9780358567363 (hardcover), 245p.


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