I’m sorry. I could have used one of Kevin Tipple’s reviews today, but I’m not. I spent most of yesterday watching “I Am Jane Doe” reels and videos. I don’t know when I’ve been so angry, and for so long. Actually, we should just remain angry. This behavior by Cornell, the police, the DA, shouldn’t come as a surprise. It’s always a slap on the hand. It took a female governor and a female Attorney General to finally speak up.
I answered one question yesterday on the Internet. Were you told to yell “fire” instead of calling for help or yelling rape? I don’t know that I was “told” that, but I knew it. I can tell you the story that always stuck with me, although facts were exaggerated in the news story itself. I was only seven, but I remember the Kitty Genovese story, the one that put me on notice that it’s better to call “Fire” than to call for help. Yes, that isn’t the same as the Cornell 7 (or Cornell 57) case, but it was the story that stuck with me. Does it really matter that The New York Times had the story wrong? No, because the question wasn’t about the news story. It was about whether or not I was told to call “Fire!”.
The subject really is anger. While time and again, it’s been said, oh the man’s life will be ruined. What about the woman who endured seven hours of rape and trauma? Why is it always, oh the poor man? And, let’s find out what the victim’s name is so we can attack her.
I’m angry. I know my mother and sisters won’t think this sounds like me. I’ve watched countless videos. I’ve downloaded two very angry songs. If you’re really angry, you should hear Lilith Max’ “Salem Witch” or her song “Bears & Wolves”. Oh, women get it when she says she’d always choose the bear. She’d always choose the wolves. Then there’s Iluka’s “Wings”. I do like the comment I saw somewhere saying what would the world be like if we had burned rapists instead of witches.
They’re calling it feminist rage. I’d rather call it being empathetic and human.
We lived 5 minutes from where the Kitty Genovese murder happened, though we had moved to Brooklyn several years earlier.
I know the story wasn’t quite right that I originally read, Jeff, but close enough.
NPR has a feature on this topic today. The Attorney General’ In New York is getting with calls now about gang rapes at Fraternities, one even 60 years ago. The trauma never dies.
No, it doesn’t, Carol. Thanks for the note about NPR. I’ll have to look for the story.
Thank you for writing this so honestly. Calling it being empathetic and human rather than rage feels exactly right, and it is a good reminder that anger at injustice can be a healthy, human response. I hope today is gentler for you, and that you get to rest a bit.
Thank you.
Lesa, I am SO with you. You know I am. And I hope there are more every day who are insisting on holding onto their anger. As far as I have always felt is that any male low and disgusting enough to rape someone deserves what he gets when the facts come out. Actions have consequences. Whatever he loses is deserved – HE threw it away. What was stolen from the woman is a loss never to be returned.
Exactly, Kaye. I thought of you when I wrote this, knowing you would feel the same way I do. It’s hard mentally and emotionally, but I want to hang on to that anger. Sending hugs. We need them right now.
Yes to ALL of this. When #metoo started, I asked my mother if she had ever experienced any form of sexual harassment or assault. She told me her boss literally chased her around her desk when she was a secretary – and she was married and pregnant with me! All the women of her age had a story. I found out a friend had a half-sister, the result of her mother’s date rape when she was a teenager. Her mother was the most reserved, lovely, WASP-y woman you could ever imagine. A relative adopted the baby.
For me, I still live with two memories: sheer terror at hearing the words “You know you want it” and being pushed onto a bed. (He apologized later and felt terrible. I never looked at him the same again.) And humiliation when a director told me that if I got the internship I was exciteda bout, one of my duties would be to sleep with him. (I passed. And didn’t get the internship.)